Hello

It's been a long time...again! I am so sorry!

I am so happy, my new school is a dream! My class is amazing and funny, we all can be ourselves and I am not depressed anymore! :)
I have a new bestfriend, her name is Riia and she so amazing!


SEEEE YAA... this was so random post! XDXDXDXD

Give away!

Okey hey guys!
I will do a little give away...thing!
Basically you just comment, but now you have to order or subscribe my blog! JOIN ME!

And then comment "DONE" and your email-address. so if you win I could sent you message!
And the next month I will raffle off the 3 lucky winners! But the only 1, can win CD, The Great British Thend Kill Vol.2 and posters!
Winners can choose 2 posters
There is:
Chunk! No,Captain Chunk!
The Story So Far
We are the in crowd
The Summer Set
DesertFest
Iron Maiden
Rise Above Records- 25th anniversary show
Amon Amarth
Gama Bomb
Rob Zombie
Avenged Sevenfold
Miss May I

So just comment,join and you are in the competition!

GOOD LUCK!

What a day!

Okey, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!
Hope you guys had a wonderful day like I had! Oh well my day was not so wonderful but half of day was good till then I came back to school from "Older dances" I don't know how to translate that!
Those dances are like prom dances! It's for high schools 2nd grade students!
Well our school 9th grade students was there and we just sat there and watch when they dance!
Till someone came and ask you to dance with him/her!
My friend came and ask me, that actually cheers up my day! And thank you Jake! :3

When we came back to school we went to eat a lunch...well I didn't eat anything! I don't like school food, it's shit! xC
One of my classmate start to talk shit about my real friend!! Well WTF!?!?! Bitch, if you start talk shit of my real friends you can SUCK MY FUCK BITCH!

ARGH! I'm so mad! So what if my friend is super energy and want to dance happiest of that group and want to show example to another people!
I like those people! I've got more real friends in another towns than in my school!
I can say my class sucks! Oh yes! Like 3 months and then byebye class, see ya in hell! yayay!!!
Not anymore those bastards and dickheads!

But now I'm watching C.S.I Miami and drinkin' Monster, it's my Valentine's on this year!

But Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!! <3 <3 *hugs and kisses*

Ugh! Stupid me and I'm genius

Oh dog! My friend told me that I don't have Swedish test today! I was so relieved, but I was frustrated too, cause I've been studying all night and then we don't have that fucking test! But now I've got studying already to this test so maybe I will just read that test area little bit earlier that test and maybe I would get good grade! I hope so! ^^"

But tomorrow we have that hug day! YAYAYYAYAYAY!!!
1st I will give those hearts to students and then HUGGING begins!
YAYA! I hope I will get my heart full of another peoples names!

And we have this English test tomorrow and I didn't read anything but English is easy to me! :D hahah!

But today I was so angry!
My rest of day was ruined, cause someone doesn't understood that Self-Harm is not a joke and you shouldn't joke about that!
You can't just say those people are just shit and emos and faggots! Cause maybe if you say that to them maybe you are reason why they kill themselves!
Even one of my best friend said that "those people are just stupid because they hurt themselves"
I'm mad to her!
Cause those words hurt me! I've been clean 1 week! And that's a miracle!
If she have got read this blog! And maybe she didn't read this blog at all, so fuck you when you said that my blog is great! So that proofs, you didn't read this blog! ... I'm mad!

So Good Bye and see ya next time! <3

Opinion of Valentines Day!

This is not like sad or how I'm going post!
This is my opinion of Valentine's Day!

I'm single, so this day is not one of my favorites day! But it's funny day still, 'cause at our school we have a hug day! So basically we ask hug and if he/she gives you a hug he/she have to sign his/her name to your paper heart! And end of the day your heart is full of another peoples names!
Last year at our school were a lonely boy who was bullied so I decide to go hug him! Omg, you've seen his big smile after that hug, I felt so good, 'cause I've done something good to someone!

So this Valentine's day, you guys have to go hug or go to just talk to someone who is lonely!
It would be big thing to those people which are lonely!

But I'm happiest person who is married with fridge and my bed and laptop! <3

But this was a short post, so thank you and sorry!
See ya!

Holy Cow! Not again!

It's Sunday evening here and I'm actually happy right now! :)
I smile! :) 'Cause I'm listening music right now! A Day To Remember- If It Means Lot To You!
I love this song! :3 It cheers my day! :)
It feels good to smile and being happy!
But I just realize that tomorrow is Monday! D: SCHOOL! NONONO! NOT AGAIN! I DON'T WANT GO!!!
And the worse thing is that I'm sick! But I don't have fever! So maybe I go to school tomorrow and I will skip Tuesday, 'cause we have a winter sport day at school and I will stay at home and read to Swedish test, which is on Wednesday...I think! XD And we have English test on Thursday!  But it's easy to me!
Today was a good day!

Yesterday one of my best friend was here! We ordered some ear plugs and piercings from Crazyfactory.com!

I will do a Septum to me and I will tell you guys someday about my ears and how I want and will change my body on the future!

I like my mirror! 'Cause I can't see myself clearly, there's text all over mirror.
Like:
 "Middle fingers up, if you don't give a fuck!"
"Sometimes you gotta look yourself in the mirror and say: " You are prettiest princess in all the land"
" Listen up you beautiful bitch, I'm about to fuck you up with some truth"


But I hope you guys had a good day just like i had! x3
See ya and I love you guys!

Me!

Hey everyone!

I'm girl who loves music and drawing!
I'm from Finland! And I'm 16 yo!
This blog is about my life and how I'm suffer social anxiety! And yes I afraid little bit people. :)
And this blog is not actually ordinary blog, it's about how I feel this pain inside of me and how I deal with my suicidal thoughts and I hope I could help someone who has these things too! It would be great to meet someone who actually understand these feelings, 'cause therapy doesn't work! All I need is hug!

I notice that I have suicidal thoughts like a year ago, when some boys said awful things to me, about my past!
First I don't even know what I was doing! I bit myself sometimes and hit my knuckles to wall and I try to hurt myself in every way! But then it got worse! These ways I have been tried are basic ways to hurt yourself!
-slit wrist
-do drugs and drink alcohol at the same time
-strangle etc.

My mom notice scars on my wrist and she got worried about me. So she took me to therapy! Yea, It work
really well! *sarcasm*
But then I met a boy who was nice to me, he actually care and listen me! I'm eternally grateful these people exist!
Soon I fall in love with this boy and soon we was dating! We were 7 months together, but then I froze!
The suicidal thoughts come back, I start hate myself again and all I saw in the mirror was fat and ugly scars!
Then I have to broke up with him, when I leaved him, I felt good! I think maybe he wasn't not my type!

A few weeks ago, me and my "friends"(those boys, which bullied me) was talking about cutting and how they think it's stupid!
Well I answer:
"You know why people cut? Because it's a distraction. For one moment you don't feel all the pain and lost, the hurt. All you feel is that razor going into your skin and then the blood dripping down your arm, legs and stomach. You don't think about how alone you are or how fat and ugly you are! You don't care about how people talk behind your back and how your family is fighting and your friends hate you. All you think is about blood. And the addicting part? Well then the all pain comes back. When the cut is not fresh and you can feel all the built up of sadness and loneliness inside of you. So you have to do it little bit deeper, so the numbness will last longer. And as the pain inside will be delayed longer. The pain inside of you gets worse and worse. It's about control, you have it!  You can't control pain inside, so you get control it on the outside!"

These words made them think about what they had said to someone who have been cut! But now these boys start again to bully me, cause I love Pierce The Veil! I don't get it why?!?!?
They said that Mike looks like a monkey and the music they make is only screaming! And they don't even read the lyrics!
ASDF!!! WHY?!?! I remember those bullies said to me if I get sad, listen good music...
Pierce The Veil has saved my life! Lyrics touch my heart and make me laugh and cry! :)
All I want to say to Pierce The Veil is THANK YOU !! That's all I got!


But WOW!! This was my "start" blog! Hope you enjoy read my blog! And thanks!
You can follow me on Google+ XD plese don't ! Who actually use Google+?
So I'm going to sleep now! GOOD NIGHT, DON'T CUT TONIGHT!